Monday, August 15, 2011

My Mane Man

No two ways about it-- Paul Davis is a nice guy. A new age man. Sensitive. Caring. No drama. If you're of the fairer sex, Paul Davis is the kind of man you want. All he wants to do is keep you warm on a cool night. And with all that hair, you'll never catch a chill. It's like having a spare duvet that needs occasional brushing. He just wants to hold you by the fire light. And you know what? If it don't feel right, you can go. With most guys, this would be a passive-agressive threat, but with Paul Davis, it's just a no-pressure offer of potential bliss.

Paul Davis puts the "gentle" in gentleman. It's there in his eyes. It's in his voice. And nothing says "you can trust me, baby" like those luscious locks. His hair is your insurance policy. He knows you might cut it off while he sleeps if he does you wrong. So he won't.

Now, in this next video, Donny Osmond's disco hillbilly cousin says Paul Davis looks like an Allman Brother. He's close only in the sense that Paul Davis is All Man. Personally, I think he looks more like a blonde Rowlf. What's not up for argument is what happens when Paul Davis looks in your eyes.

That's right. When Paul Davis looks in your eyes, he goes crazy. Not the "when I look into your eyes, I want to pull your spleen out through your nostrils" kind of crazy, but the "when I look into your eyes, I don't even feel the piranhas eating my toes off because I'm just so crazy in love that all I can think about is wrapping you up in my hair and keeping you warm by the fire...that is unless it doesn't feel right...if it don't, you can go" kind of crazy.

Unfortunately, Paul Davis had his smooth music license revoked in 1983 when he tried to stay relevant with the misguided "'65 Love Affair." It was a truly wretched piece of music which likely came into being after a spurned lover cut his hair off while he was sleeping. It's the only explanation that makes any sense, though it is purely speculation on my part. But there for a while, Paul Davis was my mane man.

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